I was at a wedding a few years ago where a group of children were getting bored and running around after the ceremony. The mother ignored the actions of the boys but told the young girl to stop playing about as her hair was getting messy. This is just one example of many where there is a specific gendered approach to the raising of children and it has quite harmful effects, on both genders.
Girls are traditionally raised to be caregivers, they’re given dolls to look after, mini-prams to push and toy kitchens to play with. Just look around a toy store to see the differences in marketing and the generally accepted divisions of play activity. Of course not all children are raised in this way, and there is an increasing acceptance of girls playing with ‘boys’ toys, however, there is a social conditioning that is very difficult to break from, as a child and as a parent.
Interestingly, there is not such an acceptance of boys playing with ‘girls’ toys, implying a societal glorification of masculine traits and a condemnation of the feminine, further supported through phrases such as ‘hitting like a girl’ or ‘take it like a man.’ These phrases are so ingrained into our culture that it takes a lot of effort to mentally step back and really think through their connotations.
My own upbringing was very ‘tomboy’ in nature and though I took ballet and tap I also helped my dad maintain and repair instruments and trained in martial arts. When I cut my hair really short however, they didn’t seem too impressed and when I started lifting weights, they didn’t really get that either.
Each person in this world is a unique mix of the feminine and the masculine, but so often we are pushed into boxes, told to behave in certain ways in order to fit the expectations of others. The tides are shifting and there is a greater acceptance of differences but as always, the changes are slow and hard to come by. And we hold onto some really ingrained values.
Darkside celebrates the feminine and masculine. It recognises the uniqueness of each individual and provides a safe space for people to come together and find their inner strength. We are changing the perceptions of femininity and masculinity and recognising the multi-faceted aspects of female physical and psychological health.
That’s why Darkside has its name. It is a space for women to express their deeper, primal natures without judgement and without recrimination. For women to embrace their innate power, strength and physical presence.